A year is coming to the end

and it's time to stop for a while and think. What 've done and what haven't? Should I consider this year as a victory or as a fail?
I've lost 3 of my pets. Linux, Unix and Arioth. Rest in peace, boys, and wait for me near the Rainbow Bridge.

I'm about to change my life and start from the most beginning. To start learning how to trust and whether to trust, have no idea if it's correct way, want to believe that it is.
As for work... it was a good year. I realized my dream and got real friends here. Of cause there's a lot of things to improve, change and achieve, but... these're for the next year.
I've made various mistakes, some of them are funny, some are horrible. I'm alive, every of us makes mistakes and the only we can do with it - is not to repeat them again. One of mistake I'll never do, at least i'll always remember of it. Life is too fragile, I always knew it but recently I _realized_ it.
In the end of the year I'm feeling especially sensitive, romantic, love the whole world and see beauty where didn't see it before.
Happy new year to you and everyone:)

Если делаешь ты фичу
Или много функций новых
И в итоге получился
У тебя грязнейший хак -
Не спеши идти к коллеге
Спрашивать его совета
Как же он тебе поможет
Если ты умнее всех?
Лучше сразу код в продакшен!
(Он ведь может быть рабочий)
Дальше люди разберуться
Если что-то вдруг не так...
(c) прислали по аське :)

Выборы 2007.

Ну не то чтобы я такая социально сознательная личность, но вот решила сегодня выполнить свой гражданский долг. Впервые за 24 года жизни :-D Ниче так - живая музыка ввиде самопального "симфонического оркестра" из местных пенсионеров пыталась создать торжественную обстановку и выбить скупую слезу, сразу за входом в здание, где проводилось голосование, продавали овощи (ну серьезно, капусту там, огурцы, морковку), в кабинке для голосования отсутствовала ручка (видимо спер кто-то). Поставив жирную галочку напротив единственно возможного для меня кандидата, выступавшего на этот раз под счастливым номером 7, с гордостью сложила биллютень вчетверо и опустила его в урну, всем своим видом напоминавшую наследие из глубокого советского прошлого. Потом, расчувствовавшись от осознания собственной политической активности, поставила уверенную подпись за снос местной, растянувшийся ни на один километр, помойки. Жалко, с одной стороны, она тут уже в роли локальной достопримечательности выступать стала, но, экология прежде всего! В финале этого молчаливо-пафосного действа мне вручили лотерею, видимо в качестве бонуса за социальную гиперактивность, вроде того - вот, может телевизор выиграете!
Аплодисменты. Занавес!

Music from the past.

Found a very unusual group, they reconstructed music of the 4-th century, see:
http://www.myspace.com/mvsicaromana

moment of art

Galahad from Ural Mountains (Галахард с Уральских Гор) . Not easy to make a good photo of a rat, but sometimes possible:)

The following one is just to smile. Tular from Ikarra 7:

Draw me

"Blessed with an eye to see things as they are, will you draw me?
Up there on the wall, looking down to us all, you never saw me...
I found a pen, and I outlined a life.
You've never cried, I think I saw a tear in your eye.

Your eyes tell the tale, I will not ask again.
Now I see what you've lost nothing is quite the same.
By the love of my heart, cut my drawing in half, for I think I'm like you... Should you draw me...

Waiting for my evenfall.

Farewell, my passion, you slowly turn pale.
I will long for you warmth, made me feel safe.
I will not draw again, 'till I know it's my time.
I have lived a long life, should I draw me...

Morning's here, I must have....failed

Someone save me"
(c) Sonata Arctica

From tears to smile

I've a close friend, after Nastia's death, she became my the oldest friend, a person whom I know more than 19 years. /*Wrote this and wondered how fast time passes:) I still remember when we meet, this's probably one of the first my remembrance, I was 5, she's 9 - hard to imagine, really...*/ Years passed away and despite of that we live in the same house and even on the same floor, we see each other very rare. She's the one of the few people with whom I can be what I am, to take away all the rules, that every person have to follow... he-he and she's the only with whom I do not speak of computers:-))) cause she know 100% nothing about computers:)))) She's as the older sister for me, and even we can not see for months we know that every of us will be near if another one needs help.
Today I got sms from her, she told that finally got divorce. First thought was "what should I answer? To congratulate or to feel sorry?", remembering that they were together passed 8 years and how hard it was for her to throw him out of her life, choose the second variant, thought that if I finish earlier today , could visit her and somehow help. Her answer was very surprising for me, she told that she's the most happy person in the word and going to celebrate the official divorce with a friend. Cool. When tears and pain get their apogee, they disappear...

xxx: refactoring is a bunch of rules how to make a program more 'human'.
xxx: for example, if looking on a button code you see not a 3 functions, but a thousands lines of code, such programmers should be beaten by their heads of backspace. (c) bash.org.ru

Cool quote, isn't it?

Funny day was yesterday. First of all I should start with that Im a fun of Ratatouille cartoon, watched it in the cinema, several times at home, played the game made from the movie and etc. So, yesterday,went to a CD/DVD shop to buy a video for my father and... saw toys of 'Ratatouille' creatures (the same as I found in internet shop some time ago and even had a idea to order some for my collection:)), well, so with the only though "someone stop me!", took 5 (five) of them. Came to the seller and put them before him. In that moment the most interesting was to see his biiig eyes, looking first on me, than to toys-rats, then again on me and on them. Seems that I he could, he would call me a psychiatrist:)

a little fun

School teacher asks pupils about their parents occupation.
- Tim, what your mother does at work?
Tims stands up and answers:
- She is a doctor.
- Wonderful. What bout your parents, Emmi?
Girl answers:
- My father works in a post office.
- Thank you Emmi, - teacher says - Well, Bill what your parents do?
Bill stands up and proudly answers:
- My father plays music in a brothel!
Deeply shocked teacher calls Bill's father.
- How do you grow a child in a such family? - asks teacher.
Father answers:
You see, actually I'm a programmer and specialize on a TCP/IP realization under UNIX, but how to explain this to a small child..?

/* just reminds one of the recent post in one blog ;)*/

music: Sonata Arctica - Gravenimage
mood: sleepy already:)

People are not changing, only our thoughts of them change

Seven years passed away from the day we finished the school, for me, as for person who really hate changes it was a difficult time, that's probably why I stopped any relationship with former classmates, teachers, even with favorite who can help me with formation as a person (he-he, this is another fun story, cause my class teacher wanted me to enter Literature institute to continue with poetry.If she were alive, she'd be surprised of what I'm now).
This morning in the train met the boy, whom I studied in the same class and played music in a jazz band, we say hi and everyone came back to his own thoughts. I was looking on him the most of the way, probably even not to him, but through him to the far, remembering the school years, wonder, were all these people? Cause the only things I know is that not everyone, whom I finished the school with, is alive, most of the girls are married and with children - I'm not talking of them, I almost did not have girl-friends in school - when you're 13-16 years you do not accept people with different interests, I mean some boys fond of heavy metal and a few girls that I could consider as friends. hmmm... or may be even not them... just cough myself on the thought that want to come to the school, alone, walk through the stairs looking to the running children, and when the lesson starts, silently come to the class, sit here and remember the sound of these walls, words that has been already forgotten and may be feel something very-very special...

mood: nostalgia
music: Arida Vortex

The truth of life

"ххх: во народ у нас
ууу: че такое?)
ххх: да, сегодня с утра народ ждет электричку, как обычно как только подходит - начинается давка, при всем этом, что через пару минут другой состав придет. Нет млять, всем надо именно на эту успеть...
ууу: ну?? дело то обычное
ххх: да просто, когда из динамиков машинист ехидным голосом сказал: "трамбуйтесь, трамбуйтесь" всё как-то стихло))" (c) bash.org.ru (again alive after almost 4 days of a strong DDoS attack, hurray! )

Since Monday I see exactly the same picture when waiting for the train, when a crowd storms the train and it doesnt matter that in a 5 mins it's going to be another one. Starting to hate mornings, trying not to see anyone of known, just to tune on music, open a book (funny, but started to read again, found the reason) and abstract from the reality....

mood: concentrated
music: The Arrow
/* :-))) Hi, Blackie! */

Just for fun :)

http://hup.hu/node/46335

Романтика

Ненавижу обижать людей, но что же более жестоко - обидеть человека или дать ему надежду на нечто несбыточное? Наверное второе, обида она пройдет, ну должна во всяком случае, а надежда - зверь живучий, она так просто не исчезает.
Всегда было тяжело находить контакт с людьми, точнее контакт-то я находила легко, а вот что потом с ним делать- хз. Хех, ладно, все фигня, кроме пчел, но и они фигня потому что их много (с).

Ладно, ерудна это все. вобще последнее время в голове звучит один и тот же мотив, стебный, конечно, но до безумия романтичный. Одна из самых нежных песен, я когда-либо слышала:

Ты будешь небом, где
Нежатся облака.
Я буду морем, морем
Без рыбака.
Все мои прямые
Свернулись в кольцо.
Как я узнаю тебя, когда
Прожекторы прямо в лицо?

Так что если хочешь, ты меня полюбить -
Firewire или USB -
Может быть, мы сразу друг друга поймём -
Видит Бог, у нас один и тот же разъём.

mood: romantic
music: Aquarium - Yellow Moon

We need some fun to understand that we're alive or just bristols!

Usually I tell that "people can feel themselves alive only trough pain", but today I would not agree:)
As for bristols, I'll explain not to shock you so much:-) Svetlana - one of the girls on Irina's birthday party - saw on women's toilet a picture of a women with a big (size 4 or even 5) bristols. Picture as a picture, one of thousands of ones on toilet's doors to identify whom it for. Probably because of alcohol or she was simply in a fun mood, but most part of the evening she indignanted that this picture offends her as a woman. And of cause that was the reason of many jokes and even toasts:)
I'm uploading an archive the photos from the party at the moment, so it'll take for a while. Tomorrow I'll edit the topic and post some of them here with the description:)
Now sleep.... just sleep:)

/*added at 17.30 MSK*/
Finally made some sort in photos.
Some I like more than others.
Sveta showing the girl on the toilet's picture:


Anton. Not sure what he wanted to express:


This what I call "Severe men's friendship" (Fastik & Stealth):


And of cause how can I forget the centered person of the evening: Ira. Happy Birthday, my old friend. You're the best! :-)


Others are here (the main and the best part of MSK support dep)

Just a friday...:-)

Cool day, in work and in fun:)
What do you want to read first..?
Silence... Well, let's start from work. Hope, it'll be the shortest part:)
Some usual tasks, then support asked for the help it webex with German customer. Ok, no problem, let's see what's happens. Connected to the system... Reproduced the bug, started to type... regular command you see:
netstat -nap| (he-he, what "|" lol, it showed me symbol like ... dont know ... there is no such symbol in English layout:-) asked to change layout... started to type and saw like letter "A" with a round on the top. WTF, this's 100% not a English symbol:-) searched for a while and finally gave it up! If you want me to fix smth, let me to work, but not to fight with the keyboard:-D Asked for the direct access - done! Ufff.... Time passed fast... strace, tries to get a core - no luck:) Last attempt - gdb - the final helper in every task:) Started to type:
gdb --pid
and can you imaging my wonder when I got "gdb - command not found" :-))))
Heh:-) Of cause you do not have to have a debugger on the server, but anyway, when you do smth very fast such things make you greatly wonder:)
Then with Oleg's help packed all my 4 computers (Yep, I like a hardware - two athlon x86_64 dual core, one P4 called "mordor" /*really love this system*/ and P4 dual core - Win for builds and tests) and prepared for the transfered to another office.Photo of the day:

blackout

There're moments in once life when you desperately want/need to change something. I'm having one of such moments right now, when everything (emotions, mind) seems to be under control, when work takes 100% of time and 100% of strength (no, it's not because of career, I've never had this aim) , it's just a period of time when you cant feel in a different way. I'm having it since spring. and it's not a depression, I'm not a such person. Heh, looks like that was a reason why I started to write blogs, for noone, just for myself.
Now I think I finally found what to change/to do.
I cannot start to write once again, but surely I can take guitar and remember most of all I knew. Wonder, if my fingers remember anything... Jazz ? - No, at least no more :). Metal ? - may be, but I do not have electro guitar and what's the most important I'd need a company for this. Classic? - Yes. Music used to be a great way to free unneeded emotions.
I finally can start with German, will call to find out all the details next week. I 100% won't read Nietzsche and Freud in original, as I dreamed some years ago, this's not possible to learn language in a such level, but anyway, let's see if I'll have any progress. If I can somehow speak I can visit Germany, cause I do not want to visit a country which language I don't understand, Spain was enough for me.
All that I need now is to start to do anything different from work, cause I'm getting crazy there.

mood: what mood o_O?
music: "August" (very old soviet metal)

two girls + wine = long long discussions of life...

Not life, actually, but men and rats, but anyway...
Yesterday smoked hookah the first time. What can I say... Nothing special, but smells good... hmmm, no.. smells wonderful, but no delight, probably because I do not smoke at all, I'm not sure.
She made hookah, I brought Spanish wine and... I found out that circumcised men are much better in bed and oral sex...will not continue... too private... I like her, she's so funny and purposeful. The only thing I regret about is that I've forgotten a camera at home. I so much want to have her photo when she holds hookah's pipe with her mouth, if I were man I'd be crazy of the way she does it :-)

mood: erotic
music: Valery Kipelov 'Небо тебя найдет'

Ну вот и я поддалась моде на блоги

На самом деле я раньше писала в другом месте, но там были лишь заметки, какие-то ссылки, иногда элементы душевного стриптиза (гы, за что мне несколько стыдно), но тот блог не был предназначен для кого-либо. Так, иногда хотелось просто что-то написать.
В общем не обещаю, что тут будет интересно, но, насколько я понимаю, тут я могу ставить аксесс листы на контент, то есть, делать, например, некоторые посты закрытыми.