Aug 15, 2009

photo sessions :)

Seems that I haven't updated my photos for a very long time. Will try to fix it.
Here are my very recent photos from Kolomenskoe garden. All pictures are click-able :)

Near the Moscow river:

On the canon:


The canon reminds me a phallic symbol :-D

From another rainy, but warm Moscow late evening. Some very nice place with lightened trees and benches. The quality is not good, cause it was late and rainy. I was completely wet after the photo session :)


mood: good :)
music: "Apocalyptica"

Aug 2, 2009

"moments of transition" (c)

"All of life can be broken down into moments of transition and moments of revelation... G'Quan wrote: "There is a darkness greater than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities: it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender." The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain." (c) G'Kar.

Back to life (c)

I'm getting back to the file.
The last few (since April) months were the hardest, the most awful in my life, when I didnt know who are am, what I'am doing here, what's my aim and what's the real fantasy and what's the lie...
Sometimes the Universe makes your dream come true, when this is your only wish, when you want and desperately need to be lied, but everything should be paid for, this is the law, this is how it should be, I know. Every pain you make to someone, is getting back to you and you should live with it until it makes you alive and until you takes it till the end. I agree to pay, cause now I've changed, I've understood something very-very special that makes be believe in future, in truthful universe, now I'm really know :) or at least I believe in it, dont you think that "faith manages" (c)?
Now, when the depression(or not depression? but smth I didnt like in myself, that prevented me from connecting with other people, from being myself) is leaving my broken world, I'm thinking of past, of people I've knew and who were (and still is!) most important for me, I'm feeling really sorry for leaving you alone, I've given too much time to my own problems and difficulties...
You know, I looked thought the pages in your blog and my heart started to beat more often when I saw the pictures of you and sweet little Elias. It has been being my favourite dream to see both of you, for past few years :) To hug Elias tenderly and to kiss his most attractive Father in the world :)
Can you probably send me some picture when you're together, that I can keep always with me? :)
Hope you still remember of me. :)
Kissing you tenderly and passionately, and hoping to hear from you :)

music: "Die Toten Hosen"
mood: I do not know yet... :) but thinking of You :)