I'm getting back to the file.
The last few (since April) months were the hardest, the most awful in my life, when I didnt know who are am, what I'am doing here, what's my aim and what's the real fantasy and what's the lie...
Sometimes the Universe makes your dream come true, when this is your only wish, when you want and desperately need to be lied, but everything should be paid for, this is the law, this is how it should be, I know. Every pain you make to someone, is getting back to you and you should live with it until it makes you alive and until you takes it till the end. I agree to pay, cause now I've changed, I've understood something very-very special that makes be believe in future, in truthful universe, now I'm really know :) or at least I believe in it, dont you think that "faith manages" (c)?
Now, when the depression(or not depression? but smth I didnt like in myself, that prevented me from connecting with other people, from being myself) is leaving my broken world, I'm thinking of past, of people I've knew and who were (and still is!) most important for me, I'm feeling really sorry for leaving you alone, I've given too much time to my own problems and difficulties...
You know, I looked thought the pages in your blog and my heart started to beat more often when I saw the pictures of you and sweet little Elias. It has been being my favourite dream to see both of you, for past few years :) To hug Elias tenderly and to kiss his most attractive Father in the world :)
Can you probably send me some picture when you're together, that I can keep always with me? :)
Hope you still remember of me. :)
Kissing you tenderly and passionately, and hoping to hear from you :)
music: "Die Toten Hosen"
mood: I do not know yet... :) but thinking of You :)
1 comment:
Hey darling, long time not been here and must read this....
Hey far Angel, i know exactly what you mean, what you feel.... This Year is one of my darkest Years too.. and yes, we all get what we give.... Its an unwritten Law. For some it comes very very fast and for some, it comes when they never think about it. On the other side we are here to learn, to learn something we dont kown, that we have to learn it. Otherwise some of us wont life longer, if the know what they have to learn as a Human beeing on this "crazy" Planet.
Stay tuned and head up, all the darkness is goin pitch black, but then the sun will return, to your Life and to your Heart. After the Rain, the Sun comes surly. The essence is to learn and to understand. To make failures and to learn from it. To make failures,its Human... dont learn from it, is stupid. The fine difference ;-)
I can tell you who you are. A wonderfull and nice, intelligent and heartfull person.
I can tell you what you do here:
Make a far far person happy every time i can read you, make more persons around you happy, with your wonderfull beeing. You here to learn and to bring an smile to some Persons, are here on Planet Earth too...
I dont have any new Pics of Elias and me, ... but i will make some newer and will post it, so you can see us crazy punks here in bloody germany ;-)
So if you online, wrote to icq or jabber, dont hold back... say hello and lets have some nice hours, gainst all miles between us, gaints all things wich are between...
Happy to read something of you.
Post a Comment