A year has passed through.

It's been a very long time I didn't come here, so let's try to start over again :-)
It was a hard year, I've changed place of living and I finally finished the university.  Wooh :)
Anyway I do remember all my friends here, especially cause sometimes this is the only place I can talk to them ;)
These busy and nervous days hopefully came to the end and this Friday I'm leaving for hot and sunny Montenegro :)
As promised, I'm sharing with all of you some photos of my tailed sweeties:
Unfortunately, some months ago Haron passed away.
I'm missing him so much... I was even unable to leave the final word on him on my rat.ru forum, so let here be his last picture.
He was not old and ill, but one day his heart just got tired. I could do nothing.

To ease my grief Haron left his son with me - Lancelot. He's a very big boy :) 700g in 6 months is a rare for rats. He's a leader in my small rat family.
Meet Sir Lancelot!

And Lancelot's uncle - Petsval. He's like his fater - Valar - calm and kind. He loves Lancelot, unless he's being beaten regularly by him (Lancelot is in a interesting period of life called "I can be Alfa!").

This is how I live :)

back to past or let me back to support

Not, really, that was the most fascinating time, full of fun, friendship in this company and it's pity that I fully realized this only after years I quitted. I miss all my friends I had when working there.
I see people leaving, I see new faces of people I'll never know, I sincerely happy when I can talk to people I'd been working with, now I even happy to talk to our customers :) I like going upstairs, looking and chatting to the people I worked in support with, joking, smiling, laughing, remembering :) Or do I just need to change something?
Yeah, you know, this is a feeling-in-one-moment. I'm a person who cant work with people anymore, but sometimes I need people around to be happy :) That's why right now I'm preparing training for supporters about linux kernel :-) I used to read trainings when working in support, and this is the only thing i can do now for them and make me remember the past times :). The only thing I feel I need to change now, is that I used just to talk, now I'm going to make audience talk to me, make suggestions, discuss topics. Will try to make fun for me and for them :)

mood: People, where are you?! :)
music: Doro Pecsh "In Freiheit Stribt Mein Herz"

Back to life (c)

I'm getting back to the file.
The last few (since April) months were the hardest, the most awful in my life, when I didnt know who are am, what I'am doing here, what's my aim and what's the real fantasy and what's the lie...
Sometimes the Universe makes your dream come true, when this is your only wish, when you want and desperately need to be lied, but everything should be paid for, this is the law, this is how it should be, I know. Every pain you make to someone, is getting back to you and you should live with it until it makes you alive and until you takes it till the end. I agree to pay, cause now I've changed, I've understood something very-very special that makes be believe in future, in truthful universe, now I'm really know :) or at least I believe in it, dont you think that "faith manages" (c)?
Now, when the depression(or not depression? but smth I didnt like in myself, that prevented me from connecting with other people, from being myself) is leaving my broken world, I'm thinking of past, of people I've knew and who were (and still is!) most important for me, I'm feeling really sorry for leaving you alone, I've given too much time to my own problems and difficulties...
You know, I looked thought the pages in your blog and my heart started to beat more often when I saw the pictures of you and sweet little Elias. It has been being my favourite dream to see both of you, for past few years :) To hug Elias tenderly and to kiss his most attractive Father in the world :)
Can you probably send me some picture when you're together, that I can keep always with me? :)
Hope you still remember of me. :)
Kissing you tenderly and passionately, and hoping to hear from you :)

music: "Die Toten Hosen"
mood: I do not know yet... :) but thinking of You :)

Ходячие пассатижи

или просто Эриш.
Самый наглый, самый шубутной, самый ласковый, самый грызущий...
Просто самый-самый:)
Когда он появился у меня, я поняла -- Ландер вернулся. Именно так... _Они_ возвращаются, может немного другими, но с первого дня ведут себя как будто все окружающее пространство прекрасно знают, как будто тут уже были. Эриш первый крыс и единственный, кому позволено гулять по всей квартире, попрошайничать на кухне,переворачивать мусорное ведро, прыгать на колени, подлезать под руку, требуя ласки, - это зверь, для которого человек это все.
За это ему и позволено все, абсолютно все :)