"moments of transition" (c)

"All of life can be broken down into moments of transition and moments of revelation... G'Quan wrote: "There is a darkness greater than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities: it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender." The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain." (c) G'Kar.

Back to life (c)

I'm getting back to the file.
The last few (since April) months were the hardest, the most awful in my life, when I didnt know who are am, what I'am doing here, what's my aim and what's the real fantasy and what's the lie...
Sometimes the Universe makes your dream come true, when this is your only wish, when you want and desperately need to be lied, but everything should be paid for, this is the law, this is how it should be, I know. Every pain you make to someone, is getting back to you and you should live with it until it makes you alive and until you takes it till the end. I agree to pay, cause now I've changed, I've understood something very-very special that makes be believe in future, in truthful universe, now I'm really know :) or at least I believe in it, dont you think that "faith manages" (c)?
Now, when the depression(or not depression? but smth I didnt like in myself, that prevented me from connecting with other people, from being myself) is leaving my broken world, I'm thinking of past, of people I've knew and who were (and still is!) most important for me, I'm feeling really sorry for leaving you alone, I've given too much time to my own problems and difficulties...
You know, I looked thought the pages in your blog and my heart started to beat more often when I saw the pictures of you and sweet little Elias. It has been being my favourite dream to see both of you, for past few years :) To hug Elias tenderly and to kiss his most attractive Father in the world :)
Can you probably send me some picture when you're together, that I can keep always with me? :)
Hope you still remember of me. :)
Kissing you tenderly and passionately, and hoping to hear from you :)

music: "Die Toten Hosen"
mood: I do not know yet... :) but thinking of You :)

"the answer is blowing in the wind..." (c)

This song plays in my head for last few days. Really wonderful lyrics, great meaning, every word is full of sense.
Let's listen it together? One more time...

Just thinking...

Looking on this, I see fields of superblock structures...
Am I getting crazy...? o_O


00000000 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 00 |................|
*
00010000 de 11 de 11 81 9d f2 d2 4c 53 49 20 20 20 20 20 |........LSI |
00010010 10 00 00 55 00 00 00 00 37 27 7c 30 37 27 90 54 |...U....7'|07'.T|
00010020 30 31 2e 30 30 2e 30 30 00 00 00 a7 37 29 b4 bf |01.00.00....7)..|
00010030 00 00 01 ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff |................|
00010040 ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff |................|
*
00010060 00 00 00 00 08 8b 19 e5 00 00 00 00 08 8a 79 f5 |..............y.|
00010070 00 ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff |................|
00010080 00 0f 00 0f 00 08 00 02 00 10 ff ff ff ff ff ff |................|
00010090 ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff |................|
*
000100c0 00 00 00 01 00 00 00 01 00 00 00 02 00 00 00 02 |................|
000100d0 00 00 00 04 00 00 00 02 00 00 00 06 00 00 00 12 |................|
000100e0 00 00 00 18 00 00 00 01 00 00 00 19 00 00 00 08 |................|
000100f0 ff ff ff ff 00 00 00 00 ff ff ff ff 00 00 00 00 |................|
00010100 ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff |................|
*
00010200


mood: "I want this device!" :)
music: "Angra"

Peter Wingfield & Jim Byrnes

[webhosting] who is the best?

This time came, that I cannot host rat.ru on the server where it currently lives anymore. Truly speaking, I knew this for a long time already, but now it's time to act.
My dear good far friend, I guess you know much more than me about hosting world, so can you please share your experience with me?
What I need:
Dedicated server (I guess) with at least 1 gb of RAM, it will run several web sites (3 or 4) and one huge forum (and this is the main problem). The forum runs under SMF system (it uses MySQL & PHP), if that matters. The forum has more than 4.000 unique visitors a day and makes ~1.5 GB bandwidth a day. And these numbers are growing... In the result it creates rather big load average.
Probably there will be mail and DNS servers on the machine.
Ideally, I'm ready to pay up to 100$ monthly for hosting.
I searched for hosting providers... I do not trust Russian onces much, so I guess I'll need some European hosting providers. I've found keyweb.de .
They have 'KM 9200 DC' machine for 49 Euro (http://www.keyweb.de/dedicated/index.shtml), which looks good for me.
Do you know anything about keyweb? Or can you suggest anything to me, for example hosting provider that you use? :)
Forgot to mention, I'd like to have the below setup:
Physical machines runs some Red Hat/Fedora with OpenVZ kernel, and OpenVZ runs a single virtual machine where all the sites and forum live.
You can ask why do I need OpenVZ? I'll explain. Currently rat.ru lives on OpenVZ virtual machine, so It'd we very easy to move to a new hosting -- just to transfer virtual machine to the system with OpenVZ, and I case we'll need to change hosting provider in future, I can just to move this virtual machine once again.

Last day of winter 2009

Music often makes me feel something very special, I can even say that it creates my mood. This happens today, I had to leave to buy some food and took mp3 player with me with the last album of russian folk (rock ?) group called "Мельница" ("The mill" in English). Their melodic music, magic voice of their vocalist and probably this warm weather stopped me from going home and made me go behind the railway road to the forest, to be alone, to listen this music to feel everything near me -- mild wind, temperature that reminds coming spring, to see dying snow to remember something that gone away long ago.
Now I just want to share my feelings. my thounghts with you, allow you to see, what I saw, to know what I felt that moments.
I didnt have camera with me, just phone, which camera is not very good :)
These are the places where I used to walk with my dog, when she was alive (she's gone in 2002), this forest is the last home of all my pets who're waiting for me on the other side of Rainbow Brige. As for my dog.. She left long ago, but today I so wished her to be with me, I hardly stopped myself from calling her by name :) when I walking in this forest I feel like she's walking somewhere near me ... :)
I put into playlist only one song, but this song (I do not know why! There is nothing special in it's lyric, just mood) made me so unusually happy, that I was going between the fields with the feeling that noone exists in the world near me, just these paces and my memories :)
mood: happy :)
music: Мельница "Волкодав"

Games in Linux

Spent most part of today's evening playing game via local network. Despite the game was too fast and active for me (I'd actually prefer turn-based games, when if I beat someone, noone beats me in the same time :-D ) and my partner was much more experienced than me in this game and did'nt allow me to win (he-he, I'll surely will find the way to revenge him :), I get pleasure spending the time in a such way. I know, I'm among of these people who can spend hours and days playing computers games :( I know this, and I usually do not allow myself to be the addict of an computer game. Thanks for my using Linux as a desktop OS, there is not much tempt for this and not many really good Linux games exists.
Anyway, my top favourite are:
1. TuxRacer - tuxracer.sourceforge.net/
2. SuperTux - http://supertux.lethargik.org
3. SuperTuxKart - http://supertuxkart.sourceforge.net
/* oh, no more 'tuxes', Astarta, no more! */
4. RatSpears
5. Wesnoth - www.wesnoth.org
6. Heroes 3 (Linux port :-) or via wine). Actually, it's almost the only reason for having windoze on my system, to play in heroes, version 5 can't be run on Linux :(
7. The game I've been playing today: BattleTanks - http://btanks.sourceforge.net .

Stupid mistakes

Hello, my far friend :)
Do you remember, we talked of funny mistakes, like when adding firewall rules, we forget to add own IP, to be able to access the system, like running 'reboot' command in the wrong terminal window?
So today, I've made the funniest the most stupid mistake I've ever done :)
I was adding some functionality to our program, that besides other things should remove certain directories. The names of these directories were partly hardcoded into array (like /etc/, /usr/lib/ ...), the last part of the directory name should be added later in code (forming names like /etc/OurCompamyName,/usr/lib/OurCompanyName and like ). Very easy task. The code was written, the program compiled, checked -- everything is working as expected, no problem. Then, I've made small changes in the program logic, recompiled and run it once again. The program run and looked like it was finished ok. Then I mentioned that the system behaves in rather strange way - it doesnt accept new connections via ssh, some commands do not work and complain for libraries... Can you imagine my wonder, when I discovered that /etc/, /usr/lib and some other directories no longer exist! :)))
I've simply forgotten to add the lines of code that add the last and the most important part to the directory names, that should be recursively deleted, so instead of removing /etc/OutCompanyName, the software removed /etc/ ...
Tomorrow, I'll have to reinstall the OS ...
For my luck it was the test system :)

mood: lol
music: Manticora

[Fedora10] KDE4.2 is out!

Congrats to everyone using Fedora10 &KDE!
FC has updated KDE just today, now we can enjoy 4.2 version.
I even noticed that a few my bugs were fixed, licq can now dock normally, hurray! That was really annoying bug for me.
konqueror doesn't fail browsing samba anymore, even more annoying bug :-)

Get more info here.

RH you're the best :)

mood: happy :-)
music: The mill